The 86th Academy Awards: Predictions & Predicaments

1:04 PM


Tomorrow night will mark the 86th time the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will gather together Hollywood's elite to stroke egos and dole out statues commemorating the standard of excellence this year in film. Although we all know that 'standard of excellence' actually roughly translates to 'whoever campaigned the best', no amount of snubs or mislaid awards will dampen our enthusiasm for the pageantry of the Oscars. And luckily, we'll always remember in our heart of hearts, who really deserves a nomination or an award,  and we will take any opportunity to slander the Academy's picks. Blessed are the militant film enthusiasts. I don't normally make predictions lists because I'm almost always wrong but this year's Oscar picks were begging me to tear them apart. So here you have it, the predictions, the ones who really should win, the ones that don't even go here, and the ones that are MIA. Enjoy. (Or fight me in the comments section).  

Predictions: Bolded
The more deserving nominee(s): CAPITALIZED & UNDERLINED
The ones that scream "Why the fuck are you even nominated?": Red
The ones that should be here but aren't: Blue

American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
Her
Nebraska
Philomena
12 YEARS A SLAVE
The Wolf of Wall Street
Inside Llewyn Davis




Christian Bale (American Hustle)
Bruce Dern (Nebraska)
Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
CHIWETEL EJIOFOR (12 YEARS A SLAVE)
Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyer Club)
Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis)





Amy Adams (American Hustle)
CATE BLANCHETT (BLUE JASMINE)
Sandra Bullock (Gravity)
Judi Dench (Philomena)
Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)
Adèle Exarchopoulos (Blue is the Warmest Color)




Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips)
Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)
Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave)
JONAH HILL (THE WOLF OF WALL STREET)
Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)




Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)
Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
LUPITA NYONG'O (12 YEARS A SLAVE)
Julia Roberts (August: Osage County)
June Squibb (Nebraska)




David O. Russell (American Hustle)
ALFONSO CUARÓN (GRAVITY)
Alexander Payne (Nebraska)
Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave)
Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Joel & Ethan Coen (Inside Llewyn Davis)





American Hustle (Eric Warren Singer, David O. Russell)
Blue Jasmine (Woody Allen)
Dallas Buyers Club (Craig Borten, Melisa Wallack)
HER (SPIKE JONZE)
Nebraska (Bob Nelson)




The Act of Killing
Cutie and the Boxer
DIRTY WARS
The Square
20 Feet from Stardom
Blackfish
Who is Dayani Cristal?




The Grandmaster (Philippe le Sourd)
Gravity (Emmanuel Lubezki)
INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS (BRUNO DELBONNEL)
Nebraska (Phedon Papamichael)
Prisoners (Roger A. Deakins)
12 Years a Slave (Sean Bobbitt)




The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Ernest & Celestine
FROZEN
The Wind Rises

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